Saying the Hard Part Out Loud – Not Easy When It’s Your Life (Part 1)
A quick shoutout to my friend Dan Aberhart—sometimes, we have to do things that are uncomfortable to truly be comfortable.
Forced Extroversion
Definition: The ability of a selective introvert to exhibit signs of extroversion when compelled or required. Typically results in short-term energy boosts followed by a significant decline afterward.
My oldest son and I are the same—we can function in public and even lead when necessary, but the second we get home, it’s pants off, feet up, and leave me alone. It surprises people when they find out I’m a hard introvert at heart. I speak in front of hundreds of people for work, yet I’ll take a quiet movie night over a social setting any day.
This month, I did something I’ve never done before—I told our family’s story in front of a crowd that wasn’t like us.
My wife Amy and I have spoken at autism fundraisers, to healthcare professionals, and in public schools, but I had never shared our story with my peers. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t in my comfort zone, but I said the hard part out loud.
I wrote this blog based on what I shared that day on stage. We are not the Facebook family that everybody wants to be, we fight battles behind closed doors that most families would have no idea about.
So, what do you tell a room full of professionals and entrepreneurs about a life they can’t relate to?
Celebrate Success
Most entrepreneurs never take the time to celebrate their successes. They are too busy moving the goal posts further out to continue their journey towards a final result that probably doesn’t exist.
Amy and I are learning that as our boys get older, life gets harder—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Most days are draining. You want to hide under the covers, but you don’t get to quit, and we won’t admit failure. This is where celebrating success becomes crucial.
For us, there won’t be graduations, weddings, or grandkids. That may sound depressing, but it also means we celebrate the smaller wins—a new food, a new word, a full night’s sleep. As a couple, a night away in a dingy Saskatoon hotel feels like a five-star vacation. Neither of us need big trips to Disneyland or a couple’s vacation in Mexico to feel like we are on holiday. In our own unique way, we get to enjoy relaxation much easier than other couples. It allows us to focus on the important things, not the material ones.
This shift in mindset has changed everything. We no longer delay gratification for some far-off milestone. For many entrepreneurs and parents there is a long time between what they deem as success. In our family, we celebrate what we can, when we can, because we don’t know when the next “brick” in the wall will fall.
Individualism vs. Collaboration
I spent years in an industry that thrived on rugged individualism—but my personal life depends on collaboration. It has created a very interesting dynamic as my own business is shifting towards transparency and teams, rather than “leading from the front”.
Most entrepreneurs recognize that success is built on teams, yet in agriculture, many still measure it by hours worked and dirt under your nails. If Amy and I followed that logic at home, we wouldn’t have one – plain and simple.
Our respite workers are everything. They’re more than employees—they’re family. They’re our first call in an emergency, the first people we think of at Christmas. I apologize to my family, but even they know how critical and important these people are in our lives. I would probably write them all in the will if they didn’t have their own families and lives outside of our own.
The same goes for the medical and education professionals who have supported our kids. Even our local pharmacy staff knows us by name, with our kids’ school photos hanging on their wall.
Success—whether in business or life—isn’t about doing it alone. It’s about building the right team. You need a team to build a business and to create a home, and we learned that very early in our journey.
Saying It Out Loud
I always knew our story mattered to those on a similar journey, but I had never been asked to share it with people outside our circle.
On stage that day, sharing this at an agriculture conference is when I realized something:
Our story isn’t just about autism—it’s about life.
Most people won’t experience the challenges we face, but for those who do, hearing our story could change a mindset, a perception, or even a life.
The hardest part? Saying it out loud.
